Learning is an ongoing process

Attrans Management Solutions

3 C’s of Self Reflection

by Sanjeev Suryakumar

3 C’s as in ‘SEE’ – Look within, Look around, Look beyond!

Wow, isn’t that great…

What is Self-Reflection, it’s a skill which will help us go within to explore newer and more meaningful ways to handle different situations and relationships in our daily life. So, how do I build this skill, let’s start with the first C.

CONNECT – Spend 5 mins of silent time with yourself, #QuiteTime. Do it every morning & evening. When I say connect, connect to the deeper self of yours, which is pure, which has a purpose, which has clarity. With  busy schedules and loads of mental activity, we have forgotten to connect to our true self. In that moment of silence (if you feel like, you can close your eyes, or look at nature, listen to soothing music), ask yourself these 3 questions.

õ What is my Purpose for life / current situation?

õ What drives me?

õ What do I intend to achieve?  

You may get some answers or you may just feel awkward to start with. Sustained practice to get comfortable with this is the key to build the skill.

CHOOSE – In  our daily life, we are not very mindful of our actions, we run on Autopilot mode. This mode  is filled with perceptions, fears, anxieties and many other mental models. . Every situation is like water, it has its own ways, speed and direction to flow. With our mental blocks we are creating roadblocks, rather than really observing the  flow & direction of our thoughts. Once you get to your purpose for the current situation, ask yourself these 3 questions: (feel free to make notes, scribble; don’t rely on your brain  to remember, it has a tendency to hover all over the place, you may lose a critical thought)

õ What did I do?

õ What impact did my action have on myself & others?

õ What options did I have? What options do I have now?

CORRECT – After a lot of thinking, it’s time to take actions. Self-Reflection is not about only introspection and feeling sad or elated about yourself. We have the power to correct ourselves and it’s never too late to do it. Many of us may have a misconception that ‘Time is the healer all situations will get resolved with time. I don’t believe in that. We have the power & the option to close every situation whether good or bad. Now when the step is called Correct, it doesn’t mean, what we have done is always wrong. It just means, lets correct our approach towards the current situation. In short, the lessons learnt could be – I will repeat this approach because it worked; I will change this approach because there is a better way to handle it. At this stage, let’s take appropriate actions – 

õ Communicate – say… “I am sorry”, “I care for you”…

õ Set clear expectation for the future

õ Forgive & forget – yourself & others

As we practice this skill of self-reflection, and taking appropriate actions, we will be joyous, present and in the moment. We will be able to see that our responses are non-judgmental and we are free from any apprehensions and doubts. Our relationships, productivity and many other aspects of life will improve. 

This is a humble attempt to share my thoughts to build self-reflection as a skill. I have tried to practice this in my life and have been sharing this approach in many of my training programs. Please share your comments and stories on how this will & has helped you in your life. 

Thanks, Sanjeev

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